Jackie Hillberry was in a long term lesbian relationship. When she had true conversion and accepted the Lord Yeshua Jesus, she was regenerated (born from above) and immediately she truly repented and forsook her past lesbian lifestyle.

She spoke about this issue in her book and in podcast.

She said: “Women are endowed with many and intense feelings. God made these feelings, and their main reason is to glorify God with these feelings.

Eve, (like every woman, when she sinned), expressed the word ‘desire,’ a word of affection. The desire was real, it was a real feeling.

Jackie Hillberry added: “I cannot trust my feelings because my feelings have no authority. I must trust the Scripture only.

If we rely on feelings, they will lead us to hell everytime we give them authority.”

Why do most Christian (and Messianic Jewish) women claim that they must trust their feelings and their gut-feeling? And, they say also that the Holy Spirit of God speaks to them through their feelings.

The sad truth is that most Christians, men and women, are not truly born from above. They can be pastors, prophets, prophetesses, healers, prayer warriors, ministers, and active church members, but they are NOT truly born from above (born again). The Church, which is a Socio-Pyramidal-Political-Religious organization promotes such social Christianity (Christian lifestyle) and even forbids the original faith that leads to self-denial, poverty, free service to each other, submission in marriage, abstinence from sex for singles, and unconditional love.

Now we need to have a more complete picture:

Bill Gaither, thirty five years ago in one of his seminars, described emotions as a car in a train. The locomotive is our will and thoughts.  Thus, when we decide and commit to walk in a certain way or do a certain action in accordance with the Scripture, then the cars of the train will follow the locomotive.

If I am committed to love my wife, then my feelings will follow and I will feel very happy and loving as I care for her.  Some people think falsely, that my love to her makes me care for her, but actually, it is my commitment and decision to be faithful and to care for her which makes me love her.

Similarly, as women have intense feelings, they need to know that these feelings do not originate out of thin air.  But rather, when a woman had made a decision and commitment to a man, her husband, then she will be faithful and will feel love for him.

Thus, feelings are important, but they need to be placed behind the locomotive of our lives, i.e., the thoughts and decisions.

Oftentimes, women who are unfaithful to their husbands tell me that they do not know what happened or why they fell in love with the other man (or men) or why they do what they do.  The reality is that they were open to love other men, they were open to be unfaithful, and they did not make a true decisive commitment to be faithful to their husbands.

How about falling in love. Again, we fall in love with people whom we already love or want to love.  In other words, no one falls in love out of the blue, but rather when we meet our subconscious dream person and also when the circumstances allow hope in a relationship, then we immediately fall in love.

I asked many of my female clients, why are you faithful to your husband, and sadly the answer is always the same, they say: "Because I love him."

I say it is sad, because if love keeps the woman faithful to her husband, then it is just a matter of time or circumstances when she will be unfaithful.  Love feelings change in intensity and in quality which means that sometime in the future she will have no reason to be faithful to her husband.  But, if she made a decisive commitment to God and to her husband, then she will be faithful always without wavering.

I wished to hear these women say: "Because I obey God and I am committed to my husband under all conditions."

Contrary to her French culture, when Alexandra married Claude Lelouch, she stated to the media that she willingly refuses all other men for the rest of her life. the French media mocked her for a couple of years, but Alexandra was clear and adamant about her commitment.  Alexandra was a typical attractive French woman but after her marriage she stood by her husband against her culture.  I do not know about her faith. I wish all believing men and women do the same and stand by their spouses without hesitation or blemish. 

In conclusion, feelings are beautiful and powerful and we need to respect them, but it is more important to know what decisions and commitments we have made, because such decisions generate the feelings.

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